I can’t forget the way I felt when I looked into your eyes. Honestly, I was drowning. I was looking into my soul! Through your eyes I saw myself. And then I felt my conscience watching. And then I found myself. And I found love for myself and for you. And I still love you. You are gone from my life. But not from my thoughts when I am alone. I am so hot in my room. The fan is on, but it only stirs the heat like boiling water getting hotter. Beads of sweat begin to form around my head and back as I force myself to focus.
Did it ever occur to you that as you fed my dreams, my obsessions grew stronger? This constant dwelling on my past is not good for my health. Everything went so far! You know it wasn’t easy giving up my oh so easy superficial ways to find (and save) the real me. But do I even know who I am today? God-damn, am I ready to know?
I feel I could break at any moment. I just want to live! Without all the old remembrances of my dead past. I am on the freeway to nowhere and everywhere at the same time trying to recover the fragments of my youthful self.
The phenomenal attraction I felt and feel for Dave was due in part to the similar mind speak of music that brewed between us. I cannot imagine another connection like that ever to happen. I know it shall not. Miranda, as Miranda, is with me always. And I am growing in the mind all the time. But Miranda is alone now, always.
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